ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF INTERNET

Writing Task 2: The internet has as many disadvantages as it does advantages. Lớn what extent bởi vì you agree with this statement?Response:

evaluation of the internet

Since the internet was created by revolutionary men in 90's it became an indispensable thing in our life. Moreover, it changed the way we live, the way we work completely in both positive và negative ways by its advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, the internet brings more benefit for us than damage in every aspect.Firstly, the internet helps us more efficient in working by its outstanding abilities about time & space. The speed of connection's internet faster và faster in every day that transports the information between us more quickly and efficiently in every distance on Earth. For example, before the mạng internet became common, we had sent a fax through telegraph line, it took us at least few days came to lớn the receiver. Now it just takes a few minutes lớn send an email.Secondly, the mạng internet has ability to lớn connect people in everywhere. People can communicate more easily without coming in the real through an online network. Finally. The internet makes a lot of money for us by selling the products in online, it helps buyers shopping easily. It creates a new channel lớn boost revenue.In the contrast, the mạng internet has some major disadvantages. When it became common it makes us more openly by publishing our personal information such as identity, account bank and so on. The mạng internet becomes a tool to steal that by some hackers lớn using with bad purposes. Moreover, the mạng internet can be addictive, especially to young people who always need communicate with others by using too much that takes a lot of their time.In the conclusion, the internet is undisputable bring a huge benefit khổng lồ our life however, it also has bad effect to lớn our health. We need aware of both sides to take its advantages & restrict the negative effect of its disadvantages.

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Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,009 4241
Kien, in this essay, you misunderstood the prompt instructions regarding its discussion format. I can understand why you were a bit confused as to how to discuss the essay because you were given two opinions that exist in reference to this particular discussion. The mistake that you made was that you created a comparison essay in response to the prompt. I believe you made that mistake because you were asked to "agree or disagree" with the statement. This seems khổng lồ trip up most of the students who have to write this essay. They usually kết thúc up writing a comparison essay lượt thích you did. Let me let you in on a little secret. In this particular prompt, the word "OR" is very significant because it asks you lớn make one choice for your response. After you make a choice, you have khổng lồ only write about that opinion that you chose to support. That makes writing the essay a lot simpler don't you think? You don't have khổng lồ write about 2 discussions, just one. In the essay that you wrote, you need to lớn adjust 2 portions in order to lớn make it more prompt compliant.The first change you have to lớn make, is in the opening statement. In the discussion instruction sentence at the over of the paragraph, just say you agree with the statement instead of saying that there are reasons why the mạng internet brings more benefits. You can say something like;Based upon certain personal considerations, I would like to discuss the extent of my agreement with this statement in the following paragraphs.That is actually the expected discussion instruction which is also the thesis statement for your essay. That completes the opening statement outline.The next thing you have to lớn change, is the third paragraph that created the comparison discussion in your essay. Stick to lớn the agreement discussion by offering another line of discussion that allows you to further strengthen your support of the statement. This could be something along the lines of a personal experience, popular opinion, or something else. Whatever it is, just make sure that it supports the thesis statement that you presented.Finally, the concluding statement follows the platform of a comparison essay. Based upon the points for correction I have given you above, it should be easy for you to lớn guess what changes you need to lớn make in that particular paragraph right? I know you can bởi it :-)
tran14 12 / 26 7
1) You use the wrong tense in the first sentence. Since... Has been...

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2) Use plural khung for 'benefit' and 'damage', mate.3) You did not answer lớn what extent you agree or disagree with the opinion. You just state that there are more advantages than drawbacks. This will influence your task response score.4) check your usage of preposition.5) Your way of expressing ideas is still cumbersome. Sometimes, I have difficulty understanding your view. This need lớn be fixed; otherwise, your score will be lowered.6) There are grammatical errors. Fix them! They are serious problems.7) You misunderstood the topic. It asked you khổng lồ tell whether you are in favour of the idea or not & to what extent, not menu the pros and cons. Of course, you can các mục them in order khổng lồ prove your view; however, you must also answer the question directly. I can see that you are disagree with the view, but you have to write it down và then describe your further ideas to lớn back up your opinion.
OP trungkienpeter 2 / 5
Aug 28, 2017 #4
HoltThank you a lot. I'm very appreciate . I'll try again.

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